i don't understand why people will tell you they love you, but they never try. like, really. if you really do love someone, why can't you just TRY? just because you say you love them, it doesn't automatically mean they feel it, know it, or believe it. it takes action to prove that you love someone.
yes, i know we have a sixteen hour time difference, and i definitely know how important senior year is. i know all that, and i've been through all that just a mere 3 months ago. i also balanced a job along with school, and i still had time for my friends outside both those things. i still went out, i still had sleepovers, and above all, i still made time for the single person i love more than anyone and anything.
funny thing is... i knew i should have ended it the week before graduation. why? because he never seemed to care about me. he never made time for me, and he eventually stopped trying all together after our fight that night during graduation.
i don't know what i did wrong, either. i was always there for him. i always listened, gave advice, sympathized with him, tried to understand him, and i tried my hardest to be his support system. i gave him everything, i even changed myself to make him the happiest human being i can ever hope for.
i will, however, admit i haven't always been the best girlfriend. i have made him feel bad with doubts and insecurities, but i can see why this breakup is for the best. he deserves someone much better than myself. i'm too insecure about myself, and about my life. i'm too demanding, clingy, and untrusting. someone like him deserves the world. with everything he's been through, he deserves someone who loves and cares about him as much as his mom does. and as hard as i tried to be that person for him, i didn't do a good of a job as i thought i did.
break ups suck. they hurt. they depress me, and they make me feel like complete crap.
but enough of my bitterness. you're all wonderful, and i'll talk to you all soon.
xo, yona.
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