because you can do it.

that's such a classic end for a motivational speech, right? yeah... thought so!

well, i went on a "date" (lol, but really i was officially friend-zoned....) last night, and well... we went to something short of a motivational speech seminar whatever. it was UNCOMFORTABLE. did. not. enjoy. my. time. there.

i'm not going to go into details about it HERE on THIS blog, but i will be doing a entry to help motivate some of you guys to do what YOU want to do. and do keep in mind, my advice blog is 100% truthful, and 100% my own personal experiences (intriguing? do go check it out. ;)

but overall, it was really kind of fun to just spend time with someone who seems to really want to be friends! ...even though i SORT OF have crush on him. i'm still 17 though, so i'm completely happy with being single.

let me say though... "i just feel like you and i will be good friends for a long time, and i'd like to start off on a good note and be completely open" is just... a WOAH thing to say to someone everyone seems to think you have a thing with.

but again, whatever.

i don't really know why i wrote tonight, but whatever!

you're all wonderful, and i'll talk to you soon.

xo, yona.
living fearlessly

ps, calgary winters are terrible. i wrote my psychology midterm with a migraine, and YOLO'd it to pieces. whoops?
pps, that seminar was pretty much YOLO in short.
ppps, yay obama!!!

because it's almost christmas!!!!!!

YES IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!!! the countdown officially begins when... starbucks re-introduces their christmas drinks!!!!

AAAAAAAH! i'm so super stoked about this! christmas is going to be so different this year! my niece, faith will be around, and and and my family!!! 6 months away from everyone is difficult, and i miss them all so much. and just, ah!!!!!! christmas!!!!!!

that's pretty much all i wanted to say for this post.

oh, and i found my old blog again! it's full of stupid, so feel free to go check it ouuuuut!

theaveragelifeofateenager.blogspot.com ((((((:

there, i have posts of advice, and i think i might re-activate it, and do regular posting on that site for just advice.

but here, enjoy me sipping a caramel brûlée latte. ;)

TRYING ALL OF THE DRINKS THIS YEAR!!! let me know in the comments below if you have recommendations!

i hope you're all well! you're wonderful, and i'll talk to you guys soon!

xo, yona.

because.

i've also changed my contact information!

so here's where you can find me now. (:

twitter: @aasdfghjklove
facebook: facebook
tumblr: petrichor
hotmail: yona.chow@hotmail.com
instagram: aasdfghjklove
kik: aasdfghjklove

so do feel free to talk to me on any of the listed places! i'm willing to talk and listen, or even a simple hello would be fantastic. (:

much love,
yona

because it's just not me.

you know that feeling you get when you just don't feel like you're the same person you were before? or you're just not... you? yeah... it's been like that for me lately.

before, i used to be a bubbly person, who was always smiling, always laughing, and always just... happy. but as of late, i've just been feeling upset, depressed, and crappy. and before you say it, it's definitely NOT hormones!! hormones don't last for months. i know it's kind of stupid to say, but ever since things started to go bad with danny, things just haven't been bright.

yes, we are definitely done-zo, but there's just a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that keeps encouraging me that there might be a chance we'd get back together, however, it isn't in reality. in reality, he apologized for hurting me, but if you have ever felt love, you'll understand when i say you're willing to put up with a lot just to be with someone who makes you feel happy and sunshine-y.

i've had bad times, i'll admit. and these bad times, i just don't know what i can do to stop them. the feelings are so negative sometimes, i really just don't know how i can move, let alone just... get over it strong. and yes, it is what you're thinking. it's gotten terrible, and i don't have the strength to talk to someone because i'm denying i'm a different person. i loved who i was before. i loved being a caring person, and now i just feel... not caring anymore. there are nights where i just can't sleep because all these negative thoughts come and haunt me, and keep me up.

i don't really know what else to say other than i really do miss and love danny. and if you are someone who really cares and loves someone, let them now any chance you get. yes, i know i deserve better, but i don't want better. i was perfectly happy with where i was, and i just want him back, more than anything else.

is it stupid of me to hate the fact that he might be with someone much better than who i am now? or that i'm afraid he'll meet the girl i went to school with, but moved to australia? it's crazy, but no one deserves him more than i do. he made me feel like i meant something, and my negative thoughts weren't as often.

sigh.

on another note, sorry i've been MIA. i've just been caught up in school and work. hopefully i'll have the motivation to write a little more. but until then, you're all wonderful, and i'll talk to you later.

xo, yona.

because it's the first week.

woah, the first official week of school will conclude in just under half an hour, and wow. i'll admit... university has ups AND downs.

downs first, shall we?

1. never seeing my friends
2. the school is actually pretty BIG
3. i still have no friends... ):
4. essays are the epiphany of my existence

and with the ups...

1. you can customize your schedule
2. cute boys
3. cool professors
4. you can study ANYTHING you want
5. independence

but honestly, i really wish things turned out different. i know i'll be terribly miserable elsewhere, but i wish i took the time and applied to schools outside my city. i need change, and i need danny. i really never imagined myself missing him so much, even though i know he treated me pretty badly emotionally... but nevertheless, i still do love him with all of my heart.

as the second week approaches, i have two assignments lined up to be handed in. ): essay 1, and journal entries -- four journal entires, to be exact! oh, and my psychology midterm is october 1st, and i have that class on monday nights only. what the heck!?!?!?!?!?!

and i also despise work. i wish i had a funner job with the same pay. sigh! i also make no friends there, and the price checkers are out to get me because they just don't ever seem to want to help me. ):

and i do apologize about the photoblog and haul video... i might still upload a late haul, but the photoblog might just be postponed until i have more time. well, really.. both things will require time i rarely have! but! i will try my absolute hardest to upload those two!

i hope your school week has been much more eventful than mine. and hello russia and australia! i've never had viewers from either places, so hi! do feel free to pop me a message! i love answering questions, and saying hello to all you mysterious readers... maybe i'm just a bit of a narcissist... but do! i'll link you my past post with my contact information!

you're all wonderful, and i shall talk to you all soon!

xo, yona.

link to contact me! (:
http://iridescentpipedreams.blogspot.ca/2012/08/because-its-ways-of-communication.html

because i love you.

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you.

i really need him to know ugh

i'm just falling apart so quickly it's pathetic

ugh1/!!!!!!!!

because it's the first day.

day one. how many day ones do we have in life? quite a few, i'd say. today is the first day of classes, and man, i'm overwhelmed. i held in tears all the way to school, and i'm holding them in now. i'm terrified. i'm scared i'll be disliked because i'm a total social dud, and i'm scared of failing.

of course, it takes time to settle into everything, and of course, i can't knock it until i try it, but with everything that has been going on right now, i just can't handle school. i just want to go home, and crawl into the safety of my bed. i can't handle the stress of starting new. starting in a place where i have no friends. i'm terrified, and i feel like a child, crying to go home. i'm also 2 hours early for class, which is just keener kelly of me, but i can't stand being at home, sulking over danny. i'm desperately trying to move on, and desperately trying to be my happy self. but it's so hard. i can't do anything without him constantly on my mind. pathetic, isn't it? i know.

well, i guess i'll keep you guys all posted after class... right now, i'm going to follow jessi's advice, and to do something that scares me: telling danny exactly how i feel.

it's just a pathetic day overall for me, i know. but i can't handle this anymore, and i just want to go home.

xo, yona.

because it's the beginning of the first steps.

university. wow. overwhelming. big. crowded. scary. today was the first day of the two-day orientation, and i can honestly say, i'm not looking forward to school. like wow... wow.

i originally wanted danny to hear all about my first university experience, but seeing as we aren't together anymore, and because he and i aren't speaking (mainly he's not speaking to me...), i'll tell all of you about it.

mount royal university. that's where it all begins from here on out. will i be successful? will i become a nurse? will i change my mind? will i be in school for longer than i hope for? what'll happen to me after university? during university? those questions can only be answered in time.

orientation honestly bored me to tears. i didn't want to take a tour of the campus for the third time. i didn't want to hear about all the things offered there because i've heard it all a million times. i didn't want to listen to someone who didn't seem to know much about the school, and i definitely didn't want to be in school at all today. it's just been an overall terrible day, and i just wish i started university off a happier person. nothing really special happened today, except we learnt that if we chose to exchange to any university who is connected with mount royal, we pay mount royal fees. how cool is that?! definitely crossing my fingers to go on one of those life changing experiences. i honestly do wish i took more risks, and applied elsewhere for school. i think i would've been more excited about university if i took the opportunity to move to a new city and meet new people. today... it was all just a bore. i was bored to tears.

but for what it's worth, i've gathered a few tips i hope that can help fellow new students and future students!

1. don't be afraid to take open/general studies! a friend of mine made the greatest point in life, and he said, 'high school doesn't teach passion.' and it's true. don't hop into your choice of major when you get the chance. take the prerequisites for that program and take other courses that interest you. you never know what'll come of that! i'm in the UEO program at my school, and it's just a step above general/open, and i'm taking courses for nursing, as well as whatever interests me. why waste time and money if you end up not liking it, right? you always learn best from experience, i find.
2. don't be afraid to take risks! apply for the schools that aren't in your city! apply for the schools that YOU genuinely want to get into. TRY it. it's never a mistake in trying. and you never know... it may come to a surprise! like for me. i got my acceptance letter into the bachelor of education today (it's WAY late, but i'm glad i didn't take it), and i honestly thought i wouldn't have a chance with that school because it's so great. so DO try! it never hurts.
3. don't be afraid to ask questions! we all grew up being told to ask questions because it helps you. and it's never embarrassing to ask questions in university. they're there for a reason, and that reason is to help you succeed. yeah, they might be rude or angry, but they will benefit you. do go to them TALK about your best path into the future. they're trained to help you, and they know more about it then you do yourself.
4. take. things. slowly. plan ahead. this one is one of the most important, i think. you really need to put a lot of thought into which school you want to go to, which program interests you, and what you really have a passion for. yeah, you might choose a less prestigious/known school, but they might have the better program. so GO for it. GO into that school. you'll have a better background than the students going to a prestigious/known school, and you'll shine in your field!!!
5. GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING!!!!!! that whole head-over-heart thing applies to everything, and university is definitely something that should be followed by your gut instincts. go with what you feel will benefit you MOST. do it. screw what others think, and DO it. you need to keep yourself happy, too. you can't please everyone. follow your heart, and do what makes you happy. do it because you're passionate about it. passion is what drives us. would you like to be stuck with a job you absolutely despise? i didn't think so. 

that's all i've gathered in this sulking state of mine, but i really do hope this helps some of you. i really do wish all you the best in your future careers and life.

you're all wonderful, and i shall talk to you all soon.

xo, yona.

because i just don't understand.

i don't understand why people will tell you they love you, but they never try. like, really. if you really do love someone, why can't you just TRY? just because you say you love them, it doesn't automatically mean they feel it, know it, or believe it. it takes action to prove that you love someone.

yes, i know we have a sixteen hour time difference, and i definitely know how important senior year is. i know all that, and i've been through all that just a mere 3 months ago. i also balanced a job along with school, and i still had time for my friends outside both those things. i still went out, i still had sleepovers, and above all, i still made time for the single person i love more than anyone and anything.

funny thing is... i knew i should have ended it the week before graduation. why? because he never seemed to care about me. he never made time for me, and he eventually stopped trying all together after our fight that night during graduation.

i don't know what i did wrong, either. i was always there for him. i always listened, gave advice, sympathized with him, tried to understand him, and i tried my hardest to be his support system. i gave him everything, i even changed myself to make him the happiest human being i can ever hope for.

i will, however, admit i haven't always been the best girlfriend. i have made him feel bad with doubts and insecurities, but i can see why this breakup is for the best. he deserves someone much better than myself. i'm too insecure about myself, and about my life. i'm too demanding, clingy, and untrusting. someone like him deserves the world. with everything he's been through, he deserves someone who loves and cares about him as much as his mom does. and as hard as i tried to be that person for him, i didn't do a good of a job as i thought i did.

break ups suck. they hurt. they depress me, and they make me feel like complete crap.

but enough of my bitterness. you're all wonderful, and i'll talk to you all soon.

xo, yona.

because it's time for a quick up-date!

okay, hello! i know i suck at this, but i DO have a haul video filmed! i'm probably going to start editing it tomorrow night, or wednesday night, and have it hopefully up by friday! it's a super long haul, so i do apologize in advance.

danny and i also broke up this morning, so i'm still trying to move on from the break up, and the saying of 'your first love will be the hardest', is true. cheesy, and probably super unrealistic to some, but it really does feel that way.

tomorrow i start university orientation, and i'm scared and nervous! i wish i chose a university away from home though. i wish i had the option.

i also quit my job at swiss chalet, and i will sincerely miss everyone there, and i wish them nothing but the best, and that also goes for danny.

welp, i should finish my tea, and go to bed. i'm so mentally and emotionally drained, i feel like i'm going to die.

you're all wonderful, and i shall talk to you all soon!

xo, yona.

because it's pure nostalgia.

so i spent sunday morning in starbucks just observing. i sat by the window with ‘the perks of being a wallflower’ and a tall pumpkin spice latte. as much as i wanted to finish the book, i wanted to just sit, and take it all in.

sunday mornings in starbucks is really movie-esque. there was a couple sitting next to me, and they had just got back from a morning jog-date, and they sat there with their coffees, and talked about everything. this couple i’d say was probably in their mid-thirties to early fourties, and they looked so in love. they never stopped smiling at each other, and they seemed genuinely interested in what the other had to say.

familes trailed in for morning coffees and hot chocolates before grocery shopping, older couples out walking their dogs, and business partners sitting at the big table discussing their new developments.

it was a really great start to my morning, and i wish i could do this every day. it really calmed me, and it made me think more positively. it also showed me that everyone has their own stories within their intertwined stories with others, and somehow, everything just fits together so perfectly for them, and they just love where they are.

i wish i could be as sure as they all seem to come off as. i wish i was able to know for sure what i want and not want in life. i just want to find myself again, and carry on.

because it's ways of communication!

i'm just going to throw a quick post up with all the ways you can contact me! (:

twitter: @aasdfghjklove

facebook: www.facebook.com/yona.chow

tumblr: kaleidoscopepipdreams.tumblr.com

instagram: aasdfghjklove

email: yona.chow@hotmail.com

ask.fm: www.ask.fm/yonachow

do feel free to pop by and say hi! i won't bite you, i promise! (:

you're all wonderful, and i'll talk to you all soon!

xo, yona.

because it's just one of those days.

you know those days you get when you're just so drained? and when the gloomy weather adds to it? yep, that's exactly how i feel. it's a crappy feeling! it's especially worse, when your boyfriend, someone who is supposed to be your BEST FRIEND, just ignores you for an entire week. an ENTIRE. WEEK.

i do understand that long distance relationships are extremely straining, and that he's still in school now. and i do KNOW that senior year is especially important, but i always thought it's an act of caring to make time for your girlfriend. is that true or not true?

i'm just going to make the point of if you have any real interest in gaining the trust of someone and finally EARN the trust, uphold it. why? because trust is HARD to give out. it's hard to forgive, and it's hard to be open. it's probably the second most 'sacred' thing (yes, i referred your virginity to sacred. don't ask me why -- i'm trying!!), and it's definitely a privilege to have. trust is a wonderful thing that will take a lot of time and patience to earn! and if you EVER have the nerve to destroy anyones trust... you are one sick, sick, sick individual.

it's probably pretty relatable when i say that, because i personally have mile high walls surrounded around me. i don't tell anyone anything, i don't tell people what's on my mind, and i especially don't share my past. it's a private thing, i think to share your past.

but! i have come up with ways to learn how to cope with abused trust! now, when i say 'i have come up with ways to cope with abused trust'... i say it meaning it's ALL based on my OWN experiences. so, here are they way I cope with abused trust...

1. KNOW AND RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS. why this is so important, is because if you keep making the same mistakes... are you ever really going to trust again? some signs i've noticed include: backing out on promises (big or small, a promise is a promise), they're constantly talking about themselves, they don't make time for you, and lastly, the only advice they can ever give you is 'everything is going to be alright. i'm always here for you, you know that right?' because really... if you are, they WHY are you never around when people need you?
2. START WITH THE SMALL THINGS, THEN MOVE ONTO THE BIG THINGS. it's never a crime to not tell anybody anything. EVEN if they do get mad at you, it's your personal life, and them being mad at you just shows they don't really care -- they only care for a story to tell. those are the ones you stay far, far, faaar away from. don't EVER let anyone treat you like crap simply because you're not willing to share someone private with them. it's your privacy -- your business. not anyone elses.
3. HAVE A MUTUAL TRUST RELATIONSHIP. once you've actually reached the point of able to slowly open up to someone, also start to do the same. i mean, i would hope that you already gave the other person some trust, and that you've actually genuinely cared enough to listen to their bad days. it's all about manners! but honestly, having a mutual trust relationship is fantastic. you're able to tell them everything, and they're also able to tell you everything without being judged. isn't that a wonderful thing?! (cue the awwwwwwww!)
4. FOLLOW YOUR GUT INSTINCTS!!!!!!!!!!!! more times then not, your gut will BE TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO. it's the one feeling you CAN trust. yes, it is your choice, and yes you can choose to not follow your gut. sometimes it works out fine, and other times, not so much. but if you DO have a strange feeling, DO be more cautious. DO establish a strong relationship before opening up. your gut knows you well. and they recognize their potential better then you can interpret yourself.

yeah, i will admit i never followed my gut instincts, but now i've learnt my lesson! but honestly, he is a fantastic guy when he is around. he definitely treats me well, but the whole never-giving-me-time is heartbreaking. after a year, you'd think they'll try to make an effort with you EVEN after they know they've been bad at it... but anyways!

i hope some of these tips help you with your trust issues! i know it's definitely a hard thing to do, especially when you really want a good relationship with someone, and when your trust has been abused so many time.

however, you have my scouts honour (do people still use that...)! IF, for any reason, you happen to be going to anything, and i mean anything, do feel free to pop me an email. i'll be more than willing to help and listen! you can do it anonymously, change the names and whatnot -- anything and anyway. i'll listen, reply, and help you to the best of my abilities. sometimes, talking to strangers open you up a little more!

you're all wonderful, and i'll talk to you soon!

xo, yona.

ps, i WILL have that haul video up sometime soon, and i WILL finish up that wedding and july photoblogs!! i've been working everyday this week, and university is starting up super soon, so fingers crossed i'm still able to do those before! for those of you who have started classes, i hope you're enjoying yourself, and those returning soon, have a fantastic first day! and i hope everyone has a magical school year! (:

because there may be changes?!

so! i've mentioned that i've wanted to do something similar to a haul video, and this is probably a preview! first haul i'm thinking of is a summer haul, then a back to school haul, and then monthly hauls? who knows though! fingers crossed i get one in 'cause that'd be SO fun!

my TNA tote bag! preview, maybe?!

i WILL finish that wedding/july photoblog! i've been quite busy lately, and dealing with some emotional aspects of my relationships with people...

you're all wonderful, and i'll talk to you soon!

xo, yona.

because it's punta cana, dominican republic!

well, july was a whirlwind of excitement - both in positives and negatives.

july 6th, we jetted off to toronto whilst en route to punta cana! why? well, it was for a wedding, of course! it was a LONG night. we left calgary at ...4PM i believe, and arrived at the toronto pearson airport at around midnight, and had a FOUR hour layover. the layover was... something. thankfully, we got free hotel rooms!!!! i got to shower and brush my teeth. hurrah for not being smelly! hahaha, but anyways, on with the pictures!

because i've been gone for so long!!!

hello, hello!

my apologies for not being on for SO. LONG. i promise i'll try to come blog more often (even though no one really reads this!). man, a lot has happened lately, and i'm definitely going to catch everyone up on the happenings of the past two-ish(?) months!

so! again, short little photoblogs ALL of which will have blurbs underneath/included.

you're all wonderful, and i shall talk to you all soon! (:

xo, yona.

p.s, i'm considering doing little haul videos... those'll probably make me WANT to blog more. so fingers crossed that all happens!

because it's the second graduation post.

i swear this site hates me.... again, it's in a reverse order. ):

us girls! :D

OUR GIGANTIC LIMO HOLY JEEEEZ

pretty pretty pretty!

joel and i!

hahaha, yeah...

melissa and i!

we tried to jump. HAHAHAH

swaaaagaaaaaah.

hi, matty!

we had a photobooth!!!

girls numero duex.

three muskateers!

i want one in my rooom.....

girls numero troix.

muskateers! this was AT the banquet.

karin and i after we got our robes!

the arrival. we were locked out... legit. but everyone looked super gorg!

melissa, sally, kevin, and i. hahaha, melissa never has a straight face.

three muskateers!!!!

shubi and the gurrrrlz. ;)

muskateers and bonnie!

because... well, just because.

yeeeep, now we're definitely almost done high school. and it's truly terrifying. i whine too much.

nothing has happened lately that's of worth to know, really. it's been pretty boring. i've worked, i've slept, and i've watched grey's.

work is alright. today ALL the debit and credit machines were down... darn you, technology!!!! but that was interesting. you never really understand how rude some people are until you've worked with lots of 'em... but oh well.

final tea cozy was last night. it was fantastic as usual, and it makes me wish i went to them more often... i'm sure it'll still be fantastic in the coming years. :D

grad bricks painted and such, i just need to design it, and voila! donezo.

hm. yeah... that's pretty much it! see? boring life.

i have the rest of my graduation photos up though!!!!!!!

i'm also extremely glad my wonderful boyfriend still feels the same way towards me. :D i may be silly, but he honestly makes me happy. and even when i have to put up with his disappearances, he's still my one and only, and i'll always think of him that way.

you're all wonderful, and i'll talk to you soon.

xo, yona.

because it's the beginning of forever.

i finally graduated. and damn, does it feel good. it was definitely a nerve wracking morning, but i was sosososo SO excited! we had these black robes with a gold v-scarf thing, and they definitely reminded me of harry potter. it was pretty fantastic!

it went amazing yesterday, and i couldn't have asked for a better graduation ceremony AND banquet. i loved how they didn't smother us with inspirational speeches because those are seriously way too cliche and cheesy. they honestly gave their honest opinion on life - amazing.

we spent the morning confused and acting like a herd of sheep. ms. bosshart was right - it was one damn hectic process. because i'm near the front of the alphabet (more like the 15th), we were the first row to enter the auditorium. finding our names on the wall was just... WHAT. they kind of skipped letters of the alphabet, so it was a, b, d, e, ect on one side, and c, f, g, ect on the other side. uh.... yeah! so that definitely took a while! but thankfully, no one fell or tripped on stage!

after the ceremony, i spent the lunch with my parents and peony, rebecka, and andrea. we went out for pho. SERIOUSLY CRAAAAVED FOR IT. de-freaking-licious man. and then i rushed to melissa's to get my hair done by her sister. we looked like twins, HAHAHAH. then we rushed over to larry's house to get picked up in the 24 person limo. IT WAS A FREAKING MONSTER HUMMER LIMO TOO. and damn, it was a beaaaut.

we had a dance, dinner with amazzzzing food, a photobooth, and more speeches. everyone delivered a fantastic speech, even if they were nervous. i'm so proud of everyone.

finally, we headed to the hotel. long freaking night, and i crashed at 1:30am. but yeah!

the only part of the night i didn't enjoy was my argument with danny. i hate arguing with that boy, and i can't lose him either. gijkgerjikfmrfikjlmfrd

enjoy the few pictures i had on my phone. i'll dedicate a whole post to graduation when they're up! in the meantime, i'm going to finish this post as it is so i don't bore any of you.

you're all wonderful, and i'll talk to you soon.

xo, yona.

because i am terrified.

i am terrified. in less then 12 hours, i will be a 2012 high school graduate. i'm scared, and i don't know if i'll make it. i'm almost positive i'll fail at everything i'm aspiring to be because i suck in general. but either way, i'm praying everything goes amazing tomorrow!

today was a rather lame day. i did nothing but work, and man, it was busy. i'm glad i got to catch up with james though! definitely have missed that kid.

but making this short, and as interesting as i can, here are some of my graduation photos! they're watermarked though, unfortunately. ):

i am praying i don't fall over and die tomorrow!

i'm also hanging on to a very thin strand of hope that he still loves me back. it's almost been a week. my heart hurts a hell lot right now, and i just want to cry.

to all the 2012 graduates, congratulations! we've reached a milestone. embrace the spotlight!

you're wonderful, and i'll talk to you soon! and there will be a skipped post! maybe, at least!

xo, yona.

because i a overwhelmed.

graduation in 2 days. arguments with parents daily. university stuff never ending. my life is just way too much at the moment, and it's tiring to care about anything. i'm tired of wanting perfect - i just want normal. and it's difficult!!!

dinner was so awkward today. my dad lashed out at my brother, and it got very awkward very quickly. everyone stared. i'll never understand why he's so temperamental. but regardless, i'm glad i spent some time with my aunts and uncles.

asian food. not my fave, but oh well!

after dinner. hahaha, too awkward to have taken when it was just starting...

i want to get married some day, but i'm so scared. i'm scared i'll never find the right person because i'm so screwed up. i'm messed up, and it hurts every guy i date. my life is sad, i know. this ad made me wish SO much, that everything with danny is normal, and that we still love each other. i'm almost sure i'm in love with him... i've never felt that way before.he made me feel so special, and that i was the only one who mattered. i need that kind of thing in my life.

i'd love a cute proposal!

but for now, i have a sleepover! you're wonderful, and i'll talk to you soon.

xo, yona.

because acrylic nails suck.

so... got my nails done... and i hate them. the girl who put them on was so... dopey. she complained about everyone, she made SO many mistakes, and she was just so careless. i really expected someone who was graduation from a spa school to do a much better job... but nope! it was terrible... i'm now just praying these last for 2 weeks before i get them filled or taken off... sigh.

my hand is on the right, karin's hand is on the left. hers are rounded, and mine are squares!

hot yoga is also my baby. i'm so in love with it. it's definitely a lot of hard work, but SO worth it in the end. they give out these fantastic smelling lemongrass towels, and they smell heaaavenly. <3 i definitely recommend yoga if you're not that active like myself. it only took me about a class and a half to get used to the routine, and after that, it's been smooth sailing!

after karin and i got back to her place, we spent it watching GREY'S ANATOMY!! seriously the BEST tv show out there. and it definitely makes me want to marry a hottie surgeon. ;) karin made a simple and nutritious dinner of veggies and watermelon. mmmmmmmm... definitely to die fooooor. she also dropped a cucumber into the garbage can... HAHAHA no bigs or anything... probably because of these INSANELY long nails!!!! i really hope i don't screw them up at work. ): or i'll be suuuper upset. :/

the ever so lovely cucumber... HAHAHAH.

 is it seriously so hard for you to reply my inbox. if you don't want to continue dating me, then tell me. i'm a big girl. i don't want to lose you, but i also want you happy. sigh... relationships... i'm much better at being single.

you're wonderful, and i'll talk to you soon!

xo, yona.

because it's graduation weekend.

wheeeee! t-minus 3 days to graduation! and i am suuuper stoked by it all! i'm absolutely terrified though. it's scary... going out of the safety net i've been in for 12 years. no one is going to hold my hand, and no one will be there to comfort me because everyone will be gone. ):

today was the first day of the insane 7 day weekend i have! i seriously didn't do anything productive. i did my laundry, called MC college to book a nail appointment, and then i hung out with jodie. chill, unproductive day. sigh!

oh! and it was awkward. my creepy supervisor was at chinook, and creepily checked me out... no offense, but he doesn't exactly seem like boyfriend material. screwing your co-worker over? that's even worse, i think....

if any of you are wanting to get your nails done for cheap, i suggest you call in to the nearest cosmetology college, and book an appointment with them! i'm getting my nails done for $25 instead of the $60+ at salons! totally worth it, and you'll be saving quite a lot! they can be a pain, though. so do book your appointment a couple of weeks in advance!

aaaand onto today's purchases (i am aware that it'll be pictures, but hey. my life is boring. pictures will make it less boring!).

 as mentioned before, grad is approaching!! and i've finally figured out how i want my hair - curled! with a white ribbon. (: because i want to keep my dress a surprise, i'll attach pictures to the graduation post! :D jodie will be curling it for me, so thank you in advance! using a curling iron works wonderful.

 after we went shopping, jodie's parents took us out to pho, and we had a lovely time. her parents are really cool, and i wish i had them for my parents. ): but regardless, sketchy asian bathroom... so classy. totally kidding... but anyways! meet jodie. (:

 yay! i love these crop and distressed back shirts! it'll make summer a little more bearable. this is a small from american eagle, and it's a crop! super excited to wear this out!!! i'm secretly a hipster, okay.

 i originally bought this a week ago, but they never took off my beeper tag thing. ): but this is half of my ceremony outfit! it's cotton corset from aritzia. the brand is talula, and i'm pretty sure it's a strictly canadian brand.... sorry! i love this minty green though! it reminds me of mint chocolate chip ice cream, hahahaha.

 this hollister sweater... isn't really my favorite. it's a 3/4 sleeve, and it's warm. but really... the cropped sleeve just isn't my thing. it smells grrrrreat though (as most hollister products do... :P) but yup!

overall, i had a great day, and i'm glad to just relaaaax over this weekend. sigh! three more days.... then exams! well, great aside from still being extremely conflicted with danny. i mean, love is love, and you can't just... NOT love anymore, you know? falling in love is such a scary thing, and is it really too much to ask for you to want and love me back?

siiiigh! relationships are always so complicated...

you're wonderful, and i'll talk to you soon.

xo, yona.

because loving more is my thing.

i've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and i've concluded that i'm meant to be alone with a million cats. i suck at relationships, and i suck at being a girlfriend. i mean, really, all i want is someone who loves me just as much as i love them. it's tiring being the only one who loves. sigh!

loooooooove. it's definitely lost its meaning over time. i mean, love. a simple four letter word that people use to describe everything. they love this color, they love the rain, they love this place, they love him, they love her. they love this, they love that.

LOVE. really? do you really love this, that, it, whatever-it-is-you-claim-to-love? no. no you do not. you'll whine and complain and change your mind every single freaking time it's suitable.

being in a long distance relationship is difficult. i can't ever tell if he really loves me or not. i mean, he NEVER makes time for me, and he's so distant. see? love lost its meaning centuries ago.

i want a knight in shining armor. i want a fairytale. i want happy, and i want romance. i guess i'm a little high maintenance, but c'mon. what girl isn't?!

i really just wish you loved me. and REALLY loved me. and made time for me. a little attention from you would be nice, because lately, it feels life i'm trying to save something that ...that just WON'T be saved. and i don't want to waste my time.

i hate not being perfect for you. please just love me back? please? SIGH.

love. can't i just get my happily ever after? please?

you're wonderful, and i'll talk to you soon!

xo, yona.

because i like pictures. (part three)

laaast picture post for now. promise!

 met robb nash and the rest of live on arrival back in may 2011! super inspirational, and sweet in person. check 'em out if you haven't already! (http://kaleidoscopepipedreams.tumblr.com/post/5121046072/robb-nash-one-last-breath-give-me-one-last)

 one of my favorite pictures! melissa and i at ansel's farewell party. we were first, and we were signing his card!

 graduation is coming up this tuesday (may 22)!!!! SO EXCITED! my new nude peep-toed heels. april 2011.

 math class. math is stupid. i hate math. but math was good. what's the absolute value of a frown? ;) november 2011.

 BUY ONE GET ONE FREE STAAAARBUCKS! gotta love my coffee/latte.... november 2011.

 heeeeello! i felt pretty that day, and decided to capture it! i love this dress so much. strapless, fun, and summer-y! total looooove. may 2012.

 i'm a hipster, okay.

 okay... i like pictures. sue me! but smiles are pretty, so smile with me! march 2012.

 my pre-taylor swift sake-yeast mask! it tingled and hurt... but it did wonders! love masks!!!! august 2011.

 TAYLOR SWIFT SPEAK NOW TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she's flawless in person, and i cannot wait for her next tour!!!!!! augurst 19, 2011. rexall place, edmonton.

oh yes, i met the phelp twins. super sweet, gentlemen-like, and smells delicious in person! i hope i marry someone with an accent some day.... comic con 2012, april.

pheeeew, finally done my photo spam! 

you're wonderful, and i'll see you next time!

xo, yona.

because i like pictures. (part two)

i promise!!! second last picture post for now! my life is quite boring, isn't it? sigh! adventure is out there though! ...hopefully.

 january 28th, 2011, my sixteenth birthday at boston pizza! i think we saw some sappy love movie for my birthday.... i think it was no strings attached.fantastic movie, and good dinner with friends. (:

 the day before valentines in 2010, i broke my ankle. had surgery, casted for about 5 months total. life sucked, BUT i lost 15+ pounds. 8)

 summer 2011. andrea's place. left to right: peony, rebecka, andrea, me.

 thanksgiving 2009/2010. miss you gramps. <3

 september 2011, ansel's farewell! left to right: myself, ansel, melissa.

 aaaand some throwbacks. won't go into detail, because i don't have any recollection of these events!

november 2011, zoo lights volunteering. coooold nights, and zoos DO NOT MIX. i cramped up so many times, i wanted to die. ): left to right: karin, jason, uhhhhh... coordinator..., myself.

 sometime 2011, myself with monnie. love my baby cousin!

 thanksgiving 2011 at dai yees. shilohuette photo! taken by tony.

 biology 20, march 2010.

 same as above.

describes perfectly... gotta love bowling! october 2010, melissa's birthday. chinook mall.